Elaheh Raoufi

Trauma doesn’t just live in the body, it shapes the mind’s lens. Automatic thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and cognitive distortions become survival shortcuts, blurring present reality with echoes of the past. Rooted in attachment styles, these patterns can strain relationships, distort communication, and fuel anxiety. Healing begins with awareness: learning to spot distorted thinking, calm the nervous system, and express needs with clarity and compassion.

Shifting from Convincing to Being Understandable When we focus on winning or not losing in conflict, our brain shifts into fight-or-flight, leading to blame, generalizing, or silent treatment. Instead, shift from convincing to being understandable: listen to truly get the other’s perspective, and clarify your own so you can explain calmly. Whether couple, parent–child, or teen–parent, this shift helps both feel heard, understood, and connected, not stuck in the same loop.

Sometimes, loneliness doesn’t just happen to us, it’s something we quietly choose. Not because we enjoy it, but...