Vulnerability: The Untapped Power Within Us

What if the thing you fear most is the key to everything you long for?

Vulnerability. It’s the one thing we all have in common, no matter where we are or who we are. We’re vulnerable to the uncertainties of the future, the weight of past regrets, and the moments where our choices feel impossibly hard. We’re vulnerable to both failure and success, to judging and being judged, to love and rejection, and even to the ever-present battle between perfection and imperfection.

We are vulnerable to fear, falling short, and asking for help. We are vulnerable to saying, "I can’t," or "I’m done." To saying, "I want to prioritize myself." We are vulnerable to loneliness and togetherness. We are vulnerable to disappointing others and being disappointed. We are vulnerable to losing, to changing, and to keeping on living. To enjoying and suffering at the same time. We are vulnerable to all of our feelings, whether joy, anxiety, sadness, fear, anger, or hope.

We are vulnerable to making the wrong choices, trying again, and starting anew. We are vulnerable to feeling unsatisfied with what looks satisfying to others and finding deep meaning in things that may seem meaningless to the world. We are vulnerable to apologizing and receiving apologies, both acts requiring us to open ourselves to connection and accountability.

But here’s the twist: vulnerability isn’t our enemy. It’s our greatest strength.

The real threat lies in how we respond to it. When we see vulnerability as a weakness, we react in ways that hurt ourselves and others. We yell, blame, gaslight, suppress, avoid, overplease, or give the silent treatment. But when we embrace vulnerability, we respond differently, we become curious about our own and others' experiences and behaviours. We ask for help, apologize, set boundaries, and even find the courage to say no.

Look at the stories of those who embraced their vulnerabilities and transformed them into profound strength:

• In parenting, vulnerability is the moment you admit to your child, "I made a mistake, and I'm sorry." It’s choosing to show your humanity so they learn how to navigate theirs.

• In childhood, vulnerability is when a child tells their parent, "I feel scared when you’re upset with me," trusting that honesty will lead to understanding rather than rejection.

• For adult children, vulnerability is saying to a parent, "I love you, but I need to prioritize my mental health, so I can’t take on this responsibility right now," and holding that boundary despite fear of judgment or guilt.

• In decision-making, vulnerability acknowledges that every change comes with uncertainties, possibilities for success and challenges, some of which will be out of your control. It’s choosing to move forward anyway, accepting that uncertainty is part of growth.

• At school, vulnerability is raising your hand when you're unsure or sharing an idea that might be criticized. It's also letting yourself fail, and learning through the process.

• In relationships, vulnerability is saying, "I’m hurt," instead of lashing out. It’s hearing your partner’s pain without rushing to fix it. It’s being honest about your needs while respecting theirs.

• At work, vulnerability is acknowledging to a colleague, "I don’t have the answer right now, but I’m willing to collaborate to find one." It’s also saying, "No, I can’t take on this project right now," when your plate is already full, honouring your limits to avoid burnout.

And then some stories inspire us on a global scale:

• Frida Kahlo painted her pain, her physical suffering, heartbreak, and loneliness, revealing the raw, unfiltered beauty of human resilience to the world.

• Brené Brown, a researcher who confessed to dreading vulnerability, decided to explore it instead. Her groundbreaking work has since inspired millions to lean into vulnerability as a source of connection and courage.

These stories, big and small, remind us that vulnerability isn’t a flaw to be hidden but a truth to be embraced. It is within our raw, unguarded moments that we find our deepest courage.

So, as we step into this new year, ask yourself:

• What are you holding back, afraid to let the world see?

• What might you unlock if you let go of perfection and allowed yourself to grow through your imperfections?

Vulnerability doesn’t mean recklessness; it means honesty. It means showing up authentically, even when it’s hard.

Seek professional help when needed. Dance with your fears. Embrace every imperfect part of you. Vulnerability is not our downfall; it is our superpower waiting to be unleashed.

P.S. Vulnerability is not our weakness. What makes us fragile is not the vulnerability but the shame we associate with it, the absence of a grounded sense of self, a lack of clarity about our needs, values, and boundaries, and the struggle to communicate assertively. These gaps leave us exposed, not our openness. We will explore it more together.